From January 2022 until the present day, I have had to grow up faster than most people my age. On January 6, 2022, my father decided that he had enough. He took his own life, not thinking about the impact it would have on me and my mother. I had woken up around 6:30 that morning, hearing my mother cry, but I didn’t think too much of it because my parents had gotten into an argument the night before. After lying in bed for a while, waiting for my mother to stop crying, hoping that my parents would just talk it out, she wouldn’t stop. I went downstairs, and my heart dropped a little because my mother looked so shocked. She had told me, “Miranda, the police are here, daddy shot himself. He’s dead.” It was like a huge rock falling from my heart. I could hardly stand it anymore, the thought of my father, daddy, gone forever. No more morning cuddles, someone to spill my worries onto, no more fatherly love. This was all taken away by a bullet fueled by depression.

Some would describe my father as selfless, funny, and kind. However, no one really knew how he felt inside. He kept everything bottled up until he couldn’t anymore, like the bottle had shattered into a million irreparable pieces. If only he had seen himself the way everyone else did. Losing him changed my entire life, especially when it came to money. He was the main provider for our family, and even though he had life insurance, most of it went to pay off debt. My mom works hard, but her income is not enough to pay for college for me. Since he passed, I’ve had to figure out how to help support myself while keeping up with school. I’ve worked hard to get good grades because I know scholarships are my best chance at affording college. I’ve been lucky to receive some, but it’s not enough. To help cover the rest, I started house-sitting and pet-sitting after school and on weekends. Every dollar I make goes towards my education. If we had received sufficient life insurance from my father, I wouldn’t have to worry about how to pay for college, having to work so much, and I wouldn’t be writing this essay.

This past year has been the hardest of my life, but it's also made me stronger. Losing my dad made me more determined to push forward. I want to go to college not just for myself, but for him. He believed in the power of education, and I want to honor that by building a future where I don’t have to struggle financially like we are now. Majoring in finance, I hope to attain the knowledge for financial success, and to help others achieve that, too. With the right support, I know I can keep going and make something of myself. I’m committed to making this happen, for me, for my mom, and for my dad.