What to do when your parents begin aging

Many adult children will one day take on the responsibility for the health and finances of their parents, becoming caregivers for the people who once took care of them. AARP estimates that of the nearly 48 million family caregivers in the U.S., 61% are working while juggling caregiving responsibilities.¹
 

If you’re becoming a caregiver to a parent, here are some things to consider.

Have the Caregiving Conversation Early

As a caregiver, you’ll need to open up sensitive topics, often delving into details of your parents financial and personal lives you’ve never discussed at all. And because it is best to have such conversations under the least stressful circumstances possible, it is important to be proactive rather than wait for a crisis. If your parents are willing to talk about caregiving options while they are still relatively young and in good health, take them up on it and be as honest, upfront, and as empathetic as possible.
 

Also, bring in all family members who will be involved. No one likes surprises, and if everyone understands their role ahead of time things are more likely to run smoothly.
 

The earlier you and your family talk about how to cover caregiving—whether via home equity, investments, or paying for care—the more choice and control your family has. 

Identify the Financial Resources That Are Available

Plan to meet with your parents’ financial advisors (if they have them) and walk through the resources on hand and potential future needs.  Once these details have been sorted out, consulting with estate or elder law attorneys is also important.

Pay Attention to Changes in Health Condition

The three most common symptoms of declining independence include health issues, cognitive decline, and the development or worsening of chronic diseases.

The key here is vigilance. Watch for decreased physical ability in vision and hearing, mobility, or balance. These issues can potentially be addressed with proper support and assistive devices such as hearing aids or walkers. (Be aware, however, that Medicare won’t necessarily cover certain devices and some out-of-pocket payments may be required. In the case of hearing aids, for example, the costs can be significant.)

Be on guard for signs of cognitive decline—short-term memory loss can be an early indicator of dementia, for example. Scratches or dents on the car, mail piling up, or even noticeable changes in mom or dad’s cooking are other sometimes overlooked warning signs.

Be aware that habits and conditions such as smoking or obesity might over time worsen chronic conditions. 

Decide the Way Forward as a Family

The transition from independence to giving up some control to an adult child will be unique for every family. There is no right or wrong—only what serves your family’s needs. Be willing to seek guidance when necessary from friends, extended family members, trusted financial advisors, and others. However, in the end it’s important to come to a family decision together on how to move forward.